Wider World by CS

Emotions Reveal Appraisals (LeLand R. Beaumont)

Emotions interrupt and alert us to important events. They are accurate indicators of what we truly regard as important. The core relational theme of each emotion is constant; if we know the emotion we know the theme that evoked it and the story it tells. Because our emotions depend on our appraisals, knowing the resulting emotions can tell us a lot about the thinking that went into the appraisal. Emotions help us read minds; they provide valuable clues to what is truly important to us and to others.  For example:

• We become surprised because the event was unexpected. Therefore we had no foreknowledge or forewarning of the event.
• We are afraid because we perceive the threat of imminent danger. What did we observe?  Why does it represent a threat?
• We are anxious because of an uncertain threat. What are we worrying about?
• We become angry because we blame someone for an unjust loss. What is the loss? What goal is thwarted? How important is it? What is our sense of justice? Why do we judge their behavior as unjust?  Why do we choose someone to blame?
• We feel guilty because we have failed to meet the another's standard of behavior. What standards were not met? Who values those standards? Are the standards well founded?
• We feel shame because we failed to meet our own standards. What is the standard? Is it well founded? Does it support our values? Did we do our best?
• We gloat when we are pleased about another person's mishap. Why do we enjoy seeing their mistake? Why did we gloat rather than feel compassion?
• We hate when we dislike others enough to blame them for our own troubles. What is the true cause of or troubles? Why do we dislike them? Why don't we respond with empathy and compassion? Why do we blame others?
• We are sad because we have suffered a loss. What did we lose? Why is it important to us?
• We become depressed when we lose hope. What caused us to lose hope?
• We envy someone because we want what they have. Who do we envy? What do they have? Why do we want it? Why do we believe it is valuable? What does that tell us about our motives, goals, and values?
• We are jealous because we fear we are unloved. Why do we feel unloved? What does that tell us about our self?
• We become disgusted when we encounter something toxic. What do we find toxic? Why?
• We are happy because we are progressing toward a goal. What is the goal? What do we regard as progress? Why is the goal important?
• We are proud because we are feeling good about ourselves. What did we do that we judged as worthy? Is it worthy? Is this a genuine pride with some substantial and significant basis, or is it a false pride based on an inflated ego or an unworthy goal?  Does it improve our stature or only our status? What does that tell us about our values?
• We are relieved when a threat has passed. What was the threat? What were we in danger of losing? Why do we perceive it as valuable?  How was the threat avoided or overcome?
• We are hoping for the best. What is the basis of our optimistic outlook?
• We are in love! Who do we love? Why do we resonate together? Why are we attracted to them? Why do we care about them?
• We are grateful for the unselfish kindness toward us. Why do we value the gift or consideration?
• We pity someone; we feel compassion for them. Why are we moved by their suffering?
• Ambivalence reveals unresolved conflict between two or more goals. What goals are conflicting? What values can resolve the conflict?
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